A Positive Investment

  • Published
  • By Laura Rodela
  • 62nd Airlift Wing
JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash. --  We're born with the innate understanding of some of the most important basics of life -knowing how to trust our instincts, breathe deeply, eat only when we're hungry, not care about what anyone thinks of our singing voices, dance moves, or hair-dos, we know how to play, create, and love without holding back.

Then, as we grow and learn, we replace many of these primal understandings with negative false beliefs, fear, shame, and self-doubt. It's like we are born with a big bag of money and instead of following our instincts and our hearts, we invest in what other people believe we should invest in, leaving our inner fortune dwindling.

"While there may be countless ways we rip ourselves off, the most devastating of all is that we invest everything we've got in believing that we're not good enough." (Sincero, 2013).

In the interest of countering our negative investments, here are some of the best ways to rebuild your inner wealth:

1. Appreciate how special you are - there will never be anyone exactly like you and you're kind of a big deal.

2. Drown yourself in affirmations - this can't be just rattling off nonsense - you have to feel it and want it and get worked up by it in order for it to work.

3. Do things you love - it's about proactively creating a life you love instead of meekly living the one you think you're stuck with.

4. Find a replacement - make a conscious effort to notice the verbiage that runs through your mind when you're being the most heinous to yourself and come up with a new-and-improved response.

5. Ditch the self-deprecating humor - seemingly harmless jokes, over time, turn into seriously destructive beliefs. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits, and our habits become our realities.

6. Let the love in - receive compliments with a simple "thank you" instead of countering with a disclaimer or excuse.

7. Don't compare yourself to others - you are more than enough and it's none of your business what other people are doing.

8. Forgive yourself - guilt, shame, and self-criticism are some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful. You aren't a better person for feeling guilty or bad about yourself, just a sadder one.

9. Love yourself - because it's the Holy Grail of happiness.

Although these techniques are primarily used as a catalyst for internal change, they can also be applied as effective leadership tools. Described as the Pygmalion effect, the way managers treat their subordinates is subtly influenced by what they expect of them. This enables staff to excel in response to the manager's message that they are capable of success and are expected to succeed. We not only have the ability to rebuild our own inner wealth, but we can also positively influence and encourage others to invest in themselves as well.